First Flowers and Pancake Races

Yesterday we enjoyed our homeschool co-op adventures.  I don’t know about that groundhog… I think spring is just around the corner! The moon was in Aquarius for the past few days, and in biodynamic gardening Aquarius is a flower sign, a time when the air element is strongest and blossoms- ethereal, light, and airy- are at peak for planting, transplanting, and blooming.   Sure enough, we spotted the first spring flowers!

In honor of Shrove Tuesday, we decided to hold a pancake race.  After our feast of crepes, we headed outdoors with pans and pancakes.  I read that in England the Shrove Tuesday activities involve using up the last of the fats before Lenten fasts (hence the other name, Fat Tuesday).   Certain areas hold pancake races, where the participants race each other with a pancake in a pan, flipping them as many times as they can whilst running to the finish line.  Here is a short video of a real live pancake race. I love the apron and running shoes combo!

“Mix a pancake, stir a pancake, pop it in the pan;

Fry the pancake, toss the pancake, catch it if you can!”

(-Christina Rossetti)

Here is our race…

…on your marks, get set, go!

Of course, it wasn’t long until the pancakes were getting eaten!

We also enjoyed playing in the yard, where a circle of stumps around a firepit make a lovely place to hop, leap, and balance (there are boards available to set on the stumps to make balance beams).

We played a game called “snakebite”, where everyone forms a single file line, each holding onto the person in front of them.  Then the leader has to try to catch the tail person. 

And on the way to the playground, we found a “natural” seesaw! Isn’t it gratifying to hear a child say “This is even better than the real playground!”?

 

I’ll be back soon to post a delicious soup recipe that is perfect for the Lenten season, as well as more on creating a beautiful Home Management binder and offering our children Direction.  So much to post, and such little time! I’ve been busy adding new things to the co-op catalog for our current round of orders, due on the 29th. Here are some of my favorites…

 I love these flute-playing boys from Georgian Wood Toys. They make great shepherd boys, as well as a perfect gift for a Grade One child learning to play the pentatonic flute.

Painted snails…

Bendy Doll Family…

I love these magical waves.  They also come with seahorses or dolphins attached. What a great idea for creating an ocean playscape!

A little something for the spring nature table, or Easter basket.

Reg Down has a new book hot from the presses:

And we are doing a special group order with Soft Star Shoes.  They offer beautiful, eco-friendly shoes handmade in the US for babies, kids, and adults.

Starting this month, the co-op membership option has changed.  I am feeling bittersweet about this- I really liked it the way it was, because it really encouraged a sense of community with the one year committment.  However, because I am feeling the tug of another little one waiting to come to our family, I am trying to prepare for having more time to grow our family in 2013 and not being tied to honoring year memberships past this time next year.  Things will continue to run as they have been for the next year, but after that I will probably offer orders less frequently or on a smaller scale for a while during the period of conception, pregnancy, and post partum bonding.  So, for everyone who is currently a co-op member, you are now a “Lifetime Member”.  As long as I am offering orders, you are welcome to join in.  Newcomers can place orders with us on a month-by-month basis.  I originally thought it would become too much work once we reached one hundred families, but as we’ve grown, members have made the initial bigger purchases for supplies they really needed, and then their orders begin to taper off.  I think this is good- I am all for simplicity and not for rampant materialism.  But to continue to meet manufacturer order minimums and keep the co-op wheels turning, I think it is important to welcome new faces, as well as expand our catalog. In the meantime, I will be embarking on an adventure in fasting, cleansing, and specially preparing for pregnancy with a nutrient-dense diet and spiritual work to prepare once again for new motherhood.  If you have any tips or favorite ways to prepare for a new baby, please share!

 

 

Our Rhythm is Kindness

I’ve been thinking a lot about rhythm lately.  “Rhythm” may be one of the most talked about concepts in Waldorf circles, and one which, as my friend Becca talked about on her blog recently, can induce some serious “Waldorf guilt”.  There are webinars and audio classes to help mamas find their rhythm, inner work programs to mentor you in staying in your rhythm, and plenty of examples of other mamas’ rhythms in the Waldorf blog world to inspire you (at best!  Sometimes they just make you feel like you are a big mess, haha!).  These are all helpful in their own way, but doesn’t the best inspiration come from the balance and cyclical order of nature around us?  Nothing awakens our intuition and awareness of what we and those in our care need most like a good night’s sleep and a walk outside.  That is what I come back to when I need more rhythm in my life- when housework and routines seem to become tyrants which have gotten the best of me, rather than serving me.  

When I think of rhythm, I think of…

…the planets in their orbits, each with its own trajectory, each finding their own way to make their path through the universe, some slower, some faster in their orbit ’round the sun.

(NASA/JPL)

…the moon, now filling, now emptying; pulling us close and letting us go.

(from http://52weekpreschool.blogspot.com/2011/01/week-16-moon-phases-and-such.html)

…the colors of the rainbow.  Within the spectrum of light we find a sevenfold order, soothing to our souls.  It reminds me of the seven days of creation, and how our very existence was ordered and brought into being.

(from http://optics.kulgun.net/Rainbow/)

…the stars. The constellations which serve as markers, like twelve cosmic nodes on the clock of our galaxy.

…the way a small child imitates the breathing of her mother as she falls asleep next to her, so that they come to inhale and exhale in sync. I hope my rhythm is a reflection of the breath of mother earth, as she daily walks her cosmic journey around the shining sun, doing her work with steady hand and bright face.

How do I catch a piece of all this and allow order, beauty, and Divine thought to form our days and nights?

Examining each inspiration above, I see that…

• Every planet has its own “year”, its own unique time frame for accomplishing its sun-circle. We can gain inspiration from and delight in the dance of another planet, but we don’t copy it… we must find our own path.  We begin our journey to rhythm with a calendar and look at the year, noting the seasons and their influence, the holidays and their spiritual meaning.  What celebrations will we choose to be the foundation of our family and community life?
• The moon gives us a picture of our month. In a perfect scenario, a woman holds the rhythm of the moon within her body as she shares in its cycle (see my post about that here)- and for me this is a very guiding force as I move from a general outline of those things which are essential in my year, to a more bite-sized chunk of what I would like to accomplish each month.  Beyond those yearly celebrations, I consider the season and what themes I would like to explore. Which part of the house would I like to organize this month?  What fruit of the spirit will be our theme as we focus on character? When will we open our home up in hospitality, or visit grandparents? Which day will I make some time for myself to have 4-6 hours *alone*, with the help of a spouse, family member, or babysitter? How about a date? Perhaps some of these things seem like they should be on a weekly basis, but realistically I know that it is only within the days of the month I will be able to schedule them in.  And if I didn’t schedule them in, they might not happen at all!
• The rainbow is a picture of our week.  I like to begin with Sunday being white- pure, spirit-centered, and light- through which the beautiful spectrum of color falls, pouring red on my Monday, orange on my Tuesday, yellow on my Wednesday, green on my Thursday, blue on my Friday, and purple on my Saturday.  This feels very fitting because Sunday tends to be restful, clear, and calm; Monday we ramp up our energy to tackle the week, and as the week goes on I tend to go from high energy to “cool-down” mode as my energy fades and I again look towards the weekend, with purple- the nurturing color- tending to be for Saturday when we do those things that really need to get done but were not able to fit in during the week.  I think the out-of-home work schedule of family members might play a big part in influencing how you might perceive your own “rainbow”.  Our weekly tasks include cleaning, errands, laundry, baking, planning, and yardwork/outside tasks.  I think with young children we need to do a little bit of cleaning and laundry each day, but perhaps we have more focus on them a certain day of the week.
• Singing in eternal ecstasy the stars help us organize our day, the constellations arranged like twelve places on the clock.  Each hour, the stars move 15 degrees across the sky, appearing to make one revolution around the earth in twenty four hours. In planning my day, I think of the things I would feel distressed about if they were left unattended. I think of the things I love to do. These are the building blocks of life- the magical work we are ordained to do. When will we work, grow, rest, play?  I like to think of these activities as relating to the four elements- fire, earth, air, water.   In biodynamic gardening, each constellation is related to one of these elements. With young children, life seems to flow smoothly for me following this cycle of an hour each of work, growing (learning for spiritual growth, meeating physical needs like eating, hygiene, etc.), playing, and resting.  Certainly we can strive to blend them- we can make work playful, and play restful.  We complete it four times, and by the last “rest” the children are asleep, and mama can “play”.   Older children have longer attention spans, and can often busy themselves at tasks for several hours.  For younger children, it will be less (I remember thinking my 18-month old child had about a 20 minute attention span). However you day flows, the important thing is to balance these elements of working, growing, playing, and resting- and I’m sure every family will have their own picture of what balance looks like.

A little more about the stars…

In the study of biodynamic gardening they have become so dear to me, celestial maps showing the influence of the cosmos on my day to day life. It is not only the seasons they proclaim with their nightly position in the sky, but they are the rhythm-lovers’ ethos!  I often wonder where in the history of Christianity the stars seemed to fall in such disfavor,  confined to the realm of the astrologer or fortune teller… and yet it was a star, shining so brightly in a time of darkness, which led wise men to discover the Gift of God.  I too look to the skies, searching for “signs” and “seasons” (Genesis 1) of my life. The sun dances through the stars once a year, spending about a month in each constellation, or “Star House”.  The moon too journeys through them, but in just a month, spending two or three days per house.  It is the journey of the moon through the starry houses which informs biodynamic gardening, telling us when we are most influenced by the elements of earth, air, water, and fire which describe the properties of the constellations.  Earth signs favor root vegetables, air favors flowers, water favors leaves, and fire favors fruits.  If you were to plant a radish seed each day, you would note the elemental effect; planted in a root sign, the bulbs would be round and full.  Planted in a leaf sign, they would tend to be more elongated and skinny, with a fuller set of leaves.

• Our most basic rhythm, the minutes and seconds of our day, is our breath. We can work with our breath to achieve our sense of balance and enliven our work. I am reading a book now, The Tao of Natural Breathing, and it is wonderful… the cornerstone of imitating our orderly mother earth as she expands and contracts with cold and warm, day and night.  Her lungs fill and empty like the trees as they fill with foliage, then loose their leaves; tall and proud, yet humble enough to fall in line with us and except our outbreath (carbon dioxide) as their inbreath, so that they may offer us purified, delicious oxygen… When tension starts to hold you in an expanded state, or lethargy keeps you stuck in cold, hard, contraction- just breathe. When you feel your emotions putting a dizzying spin in your mind, notice them, separate yourself from them, and begin to shift from feeling the inner life to the outer life, using your breath as a catalyst, a bridge between your inner and your outer.

But most of all, as mothers, our rhythm is kindness.  Our rhythm is making people more important than plans, and knowing that each sibling fight or scraped knee or attitude going awry is a call to step out of the line you are marching, look at the big picture, and set the stars back into alignment.  Your rainbow of colorful songs, rhymes, humor, hugs, helping hands, movement, and games assist you.  Your warmth (sun) and intuition (moon) guide you- strong as gravity, accurate as a heavenly body in orbit.  No one can give you this, or do this for you.  Maybe they can lead you to the land of Rhythm, but only you find exactly where it lies- or rather, is, for it rarely stays still, evolving with us in our personal transformation!

 

The painting at the top of this post was my reflection on these themes as I enjoyed watercoloring with my children one afternoon, and I painted it with my new household managment binder in mind.  My last binder had the unfortunate fate of being on a shelf under a gallon of sunflower oil that developed a leak.  Everything is still there, but needs to be reprinted.  My household management binder is my “keep-it-all-together” book of dates, activities, and inspiration.  As I re-create it I will share it on this blog, to inspire those who prefer to have something beautiful and handmade to remind you of your rhythm (instead of an electronic device).

 

Here are favorite posts on rhythm…

Carrie Dendtler’s “Baby Steps to Waldorf Rhythm”

At Home With Momma Skyla

Rhythm Mama West Wind Style

Beautiful rhythm chart from Ariella of Childhood Magic, guest-posting on The Magic Onions

My own weekly and daily schedules during the school year

Share a link if you have one you love!

 

 

 

 

 

The Queen of Hearts- A Valentine Theme Party

Theme parties are so fun!  This Valentine’s Day I attempted my first one. We sent some invitations to our friends for a party with an Alice in Wonderland “Queen of Hearts” theme.

When the children walked in, they were invited to go through the rabbit hole (one of those collapsible play tunnels, wrapped in a brown sheet).

We decorated with red balloons…

and card garlands.

What trip to Wonderland would be complete without painting some roses red? I made white paper ”roses” and set out red watercolor for the children.

Finished, they look lovely on our nature table.  I think I will do this using coloured paper (or even watercolored paper) to create roses galore throughout the summer.  You don’t really need the pipe cleaners.  You can just slide the roses onto the tips of branches, but I wanted them to be extra sturdy for the little hands trying to paint them.  I learned how to make the flowers (easy peasy!) from this blog.

We ate sandwiches composed of heart-shaped pieces (thanks Mama Nga for helping to prepare!).

( Don’t worry, there was no waste- we used the scrap nitrate-free ham, cheese, and tomato pieces in a salad, and I’m saving the scrap bread to make croutons with.)

After lunch, we enjoyed a scavenger hunt for a deck of cards hidden all around the house.  Everyone brought their found cards to be counted up, and the cards’ value was calculated.  The number was written on the front of  paper crowns, and after receiving their crowns they picked a slip of paper from a “game” jar.

We played Alice-In-Wonderland-style croquet, using a felt flamingo and hedgehog I sewed. 

For the hedgehog, I used this pattern (free download!).  My sewing machine is out of commisson right now so he is all felt instead of the fabric/felt combo used in the tutorial.  I created the flamingo pattern myself (so fun to get those creative juices flowing!).  Both are stuffed with beans, and I used little felt ties and a felt covered dowel to make the croquet stick.

The children formed the hoops for whoever was trying to play croquet, just as the cards did in Alice in Wonderland.

We played “Out of Breath”, where everyone got a straw and raced to blow a little wad of paper across the floor…

…and “spotlight”, where one child held a wind-up flashlight and as music played, he would choose a child to shine it at.  The spotlighted child had to try to do a silly dance and make the spotlight-holder laugh, and whoever made him laugh had the next turn spotlighting.

 

I love this attempt to *not* laugh:

After plenty of fun indoors, we headed outdoors.  The children had a blast sliding down an enbankment near the frozen pond.

 

 And then clambering back up!

Our kittens thought it looked like fun too…

We came back home to roll out dough and make heart-shaped cookies.  During the ten minutes the cookies baked, we prepared hot chocolate.  We enjoyed our snack, and the kids received bags of homemade red play-dough and red paper origami sailboats for favors, while the mamas each got a beeswax candle decorated with hearts.  I forgot to take a picture of those, but they were similar to these that I made at Christmas, using Stockmar decorating wax.

There were so many other ideas I had- next time I will start planning a month ahead!  I started six days before the party this time- enough time to have a good plan and make it fun. I learned that my daughter *loves* homemade stuffies- this was her reaction after I made the hedgehog:

Admiring him…

Nursing him…

Patting him to sleep!

Sailing Away- Lost Tutorial #1

A while ago I promised a few of the lost tutorials from the much-loved Childhood Magic blog, which I had saved to my hard drive in my homeschooling files before it disappeared from the internet.  In my own way, with my own words and pictures, I hope to re-visit a few of the projects Ariella gathered from across the web which inspired so many of us. Today was a great day to do one I’ve been meaning to try- paper boats.  While we do have snow and ice here in the Northeast, the afternoon sun warms us and everything starts dripping, dripping, dripping until the roadside drainage ditches become little streams.  These little origami boats require nothing but a sheet of paper and a place to float, and were a lovely part of our afternoon walk and sun-soak.

You can find the instructions for making the boats here in an easy to follow video.  You may wish to use a plain sheet of paper and color/decorate it with beeswax crayons before folding- but I used colored paper, since I wanted to surprise my kiddos with the boats once we arrived at our outdoor destination.

Pure delight!

A pocket gnome, a peg doll, and a farm wife sail along with their pine cone cargos… watch out for icebergs!

The kittens are as fascinated as the children. 

After a while of sailing and a few capsizing mishaps, the boats begin to get soggy and everyone decides ice fishing might be a safer bet. But not until they dock for a bit and make snow angels!

Look at all the fish (pinecones) they’ve caught!

A beautiful moon emerges- so big, I think it is a silvery billowing cloud at first… see it there, at the top of the hill, looking as huge as the tree beside it?

I think we may decorate and fold up some more boats for bath time.  Bon voyage!

Connecting With Your Child

As parents, connection with our children is not only a joy- it is our greatest asset for guiding and protecting. We can either parent based on connection, or parent based on fear.  Wow, that sounds drastic right?  But a child will either willingly cooperate with you, will only co-operate if they are afraid of what will happen if they don’t, or just plain won’t co-operate!  What is the deciding factor between these outcomes?  I think in the case of a healthy, well-balanced child the level of co-operation is directly related to how well-connected parent and child are.  I do think behavioural-health issues can create a different dynamic (for instance, certain children who are really sensitive to food dyes/preservatives or those with a sensory processing disorder; yet, even here, I think it is the health issues themselves which make connection difficult).

Here are three obstacles to connecting, three connecting helps, and a few ways to meaningfully connect.

Things that Make Connection Difficult

1. Guilt. Guilt eats away at you, dissolving your ability to stay in-the-moment and think in a peaceful, clear-headed way.  It keeps you in “hamster-mind”, running around and around on a little mental wheel that doesn’t get you anywhere!  When we feel guilty about how we’ve reacted to our children or parenting mistakes we’ve made, we often try to over-compensate for the mistakes instead of being able to see what is really needed at the moment from a place of mindful, grounded thinking. When we feel guilty about circumstances outside of our parenting (getting behind on housework, over-committing outside the home and having trouble saying “no”, fighting with a spouse/loved one and regretting words that were spoken, etc) these things can rob us of our presence of mind, can make us emotionally distant, and can cause us to operate in stress mode- that mode where our stress hormones flood our body and physically shut down our higher mental faculties, reducing us to more primitive cycles of flight or fight responses.  For more of the chemistry of stress, just google “stress shuts down the frontal lobes” and you will get ton of results about how stress can cut you off from your intution, your best decision making capabilities, empathy, and the part of you that makes you most “human”.  

When my first child was born, he cried. A LOT. I felt like a bad mother; I felt guilty about having him in a hospital. I had tried to give birth at home, but with my water broken for over 36 hours and a fever developing, I changed course. I thought perhaps the stress of being separated from me in a neonatal intensive care unit (a standard procedure for a baby born to a feverish mother in that hospital) must have traumatized him for life.  They kept him so far from me, that by the time I would hurry down to nurse him when they called to say he was hungry, he would have given up in tired frustration and fallen asleep.  I think guilt really stands in the way of connecting, and by golly don’t we often get served up a ton of parenting guilt, especially as new mothers (whether from well-meaning relatives & friends, or our own inexperienced grapplings)?  After that, there were a slew of other mistakes (well-meaning friends who urged me to pursue some very connection-deadening parenting philosophies) and I ended up with a 2.5 year old that I felt I had “ruined”. 

It was at that time that I really reached out for an alternative way of being with my son, and settled upon the beautiful, gentle ideas of Waldorf philosophy.   What healed our relationship most was a therapeutic story that I told him each night for a while when he was three and four- The Rainbow Bridge story.  I adapted it a little-  in my version, when the little boy asks to go to the woman he sees, the angel queries “Are you sure you want this mother? She has never been a mother before, and she has never taken care of a little child.  She might make mistakes, but if you can be patient and forgiving, you will see she loves you very much and will always try to be the best mother she can be.” The little boy says “Yes, this is the mother I want.” The angel asks again “Are you sure you don’t want to wait a bit longer?  There are other children waiting to go to her too, and perhaps you can come along once she’s already practiced being a mother a little.” But the little boy was so excited he didn’t want to wait any longer to meet her, and he thought being the first child to go to her would be such an adventure.  This story was probably a lot more therapeutic for me than him- it really healed my guilt and helped me resolve to be the best mother I can be.  It was simple, cost nothing (well, I was inspired by the book Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour), and after a while of telling it, our connection was strengthened.  There are times when I acknowledge an error or apologize for losing my temper and he replies, “It’s ok mom, I know you are trying to be the best mom you can be”.

2. Judgement. On the flip side of guilt is judgement.  Judgement can be an internal reaction to our own guilt, in which case we limit ourselves with ideas (such as ‘you don’t deserve….’ ‘you will never be…’ etc). But the kind of judgment I want to address is the kind we levy on our children.  We need to “judge” between helpful and non-helpul behaviours, and keep our judgement attached to the behaviour, not the child.  I think it can be a momentary flash of wisdom that tells us the behaviour is not helpful; here the judgement job ends and more helpful mental processes can begin.  Once we step into that role of judge of another person, we really limit our ability to connect because we often assume we know their motives or thought processes and so we fail to try to find out where they are coming from and what needs (real or perceived) they are trying to meet with their action.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “Why did you do that?” when really, my tone and body language are saying “You shouldn’t have done that.” I love what Naomi Aldort says about “should”.  If a child is doing something, then they should be doing it, because that is their best attempt at living their life and getting their needs met that they know of, right now. 

We have about eighteen years to help them get to the place of knowing appropriate and inappropriate ways of getting their needs met, make life-enhancing decisions, and helping them develop their self-control.  We can’t expect them to already be there at age two, three, four, five, six… who they are right now is not the finished product; but when we judge them we are putting our limiting beliefs upon them- beliefs that they will carry about themselves for who knows how long?  May I never give them a negative prophecy to fulfil! Becky Bailey says “What you focus on, you will get more of.”  So true!  When we focus on a certain behaviour, it is almost like lighting a flame in the dark and inviting the moth to dance with it.  If there is a behaviour that is troubling, the best way to deal with it is to offer a new behaviour, a new paradigm, a new way of being, a new way of getting needs met; not simply negating an old one.  If there is a need behind the old, unwelcome behaviour, just cutting off the behaviour can lead to alternate negative behaviours or unmet needs that become the basis for future disruptions of well-being.

3. Busy-ness. Busy-ness, like guilt, can be a stress-inducer and carries all of those same brain-functioning-under-stress implications.  But it also robs us of those precious little moments that would slip by unnoticed if we were not unhurried and observant.  When my children are playing together happily, I often stop what I am doing and quietly listen to what they are saying and doing- and my heart fills with gratitude and love for them.  We don’t do any “extra-curricular” activities at this point.  When they are older I’d like to get them involved in a sport or hobby, but life with several little ones can be so full with just caring for their basic needs. They really just need rhythm and the security of home when they are small. And they need mama to be frazzle-free.

Being busy can be as much about the mind as about the physical activities we partake in. It’s funny; you can be a stay-at-home parent and still not really connect with your child in a meaningful way at all, if you don’t really take the time and have the intention to do it.  I remember realizing this when my first child was a toddler.  Sometimes I just had to purposefully drag myself out of the whirling mentals lists of things to do and constant replay of conversations or situations in my life that I was working through, and make an effort to sit down, make him the center of my attention for a few minutes, make eye contact, and really connect. A meditation practice or simply slowing down and noticing sensory information (What am I hearing right now? Seeing? Smelling? Feeling?) can quickly rescue me from being too much “in my head”.

Things That Make Connection Easy

1. Empathy. Empathy- being able to “identify with… and experience the thoughts, feelings, or attitudes of another” (dictionary.com) is SO integral to connecting meaningfully with a child or with anyone!  It is as simple as that! I do suggest learning a little about a child’s consciousness/child development to better enable you to empathize with them; they are not miniature adults, and are approaching the world with more wonder, reverence, imagination, and curiosity than many of us grown-ups.  They also need to experience things physically (touch!) much more than an adult. 

2. Understanding the Temperaments. My ability to empathize with people has been truly enhanced by my study of the temperaments.  I have been absorbing this information since I was very young, because my mother studied them and I’ve been hearing about cholerics, sanguines, melancholics, and phlegmatics for as long as I can remember.  I read books about the temperaments in my teens, and having children of three different temperaments has been so enlightening (I’m still waiting for a choleric!).

3. Connecting Within A Rhythm.  In her book I Love You Rituals, Becky Bailey gives some great tips on making connection a part of daily life in a rhythmic way.  In Hold On To Your Kids, Gordon Neufeld talks about making it a priority to use certain transition periods to re-connect.  When we have been “dis-connected”- whether physically away from each other or mentally distracted for a period of time- it is time to re-connect. This reminds me of the Waldorf “breathe-in, breathe-out” rhythm for balancing more outward activities/states of being with more inward activities/states of being. 

I try to connect with my kids when they wake up; at meal times; after a nap or freeplay; during our afternoon walk; and before bedtime.  Of course these are not the only times I connect with them, but they are the crucial points where connection always occurs that “gathers them up to me” throughout the day.

How To Connect

The basics of connecting are making eye contact, physical touch, eliciting a smile, and perhaps asking the kinds of questions that require more than one word to answer (although I’ve experienced some wonderfully connected times where no words are spoken, haven’t you?).  The way we connect will change based on age.  Babies love nursery rhymes, rocking & dandling games, and finger plays.  These are incredible ways to connect (not to mention they help build vocabulary and develop motor skills without over-intellectualizing!).  As they get older, story-telling and singing together are great ways to connect.  That is as far as I can go in my current parenting experience, but I imagine the future holds a lot of listening and sharing interest in hobbies…

I also think there is a spiritual element to connection, and if your beliefs align, I love the idea of asking a child’s guardian angel for help in connecting with a child and better understanding what the child needs.  This can be done quietly as they fall asleep… and also provides the mother with a sense of shared responsibility, a sense that she is not alone and she has help within the spiritual realm as she nurtures and loves.

Connection, Direction, and Protection

How confident are you in your parenting?  Do you feel like you are still trying to figure out your way through a maze, or are you pretty settled into your mothering groove? After six years and three children, I can finally say I don’t have that “lost” feeling that I felt as a new parent.  Instead of insecurity about how to deal with situations and understand the how’s and why’s of my parenting work, now it seems to be more a matter of actually doing the things I know need to be done- which can be hard when they go against the natural reaction or ingrained behaviours we may possess by the time we are adults.  More than any parenting expert or author, I have to thank my friend Mama Erin for helping me find solid parenting ground; she listened to me for hours as I would vent my parenting frustrations; pose all my queries; suggest, experiment with, and reject or thrill over what worked and what didn’t.  As a sanguine, I tend to talk my way through things… but no matter what temperament, I think a mama should always have a mentor- perhaps not a formal situation, but at least one where you can admire and look to someone a little farther ahead on the path than you; a sidekick- someone who is where you are and goes through the thick of it with you; and someone under your wings- because we are always a wee bit farther down the path than someone else, and it is so rewarding to give back. 

That said, here are some resources which helped me tremendously, and which have formed the basis of my parenting foundation. I think you could summarize my parenting philosophy in three words- Connection, Direction, and Protection.  I will classify the books according to which one of these categories they helped me in most (although the lines do blur a bit… I’m sure each of these could speak to more than one category on some level!).

Connection

• Anything by Naomi Aldort.   Her book “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves” is good, but I especially love her audio cd’s.  She is passionately philosophical, and perhaps more ”relaxed” in parenting than I will ever be- but it helped balance out my original rather authoritarian views of parenting (that were *not* working for me!).
• Non-Violent Communication (Marshall A. Rosenberg)- not a parenting book per se, but one that probably helped me communicate, express love, and connect with my children to my utmost potential
• Playful Parenting (Lawrence J. Cohen)

Direction

• Anything by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish;  they are a book writing team. “Siblings Without Rivalry” has truly helped make my home a peaceful place! “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk” is also wonderful… a great companion to Non-Violent Communication.
• Easy To Love, Difficult to Discipline (Becky A Bailey)
• Waldorf parenting books- Heaven On Earth (Sharifa Oppenheimer), Beyond the Rainbow Bridge (Barbara Patterson), You Are Your Child’s First Teacher (Rahima Baldwin Dancy), and Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour (Susan Perrow)

Protection

• Hold On To Your Kids (Gary Neufeld)
• Simplicity Parenting (Kim Jon Payne)

I also think as modern mothers we often need help remembering how to listen to our own intution, because we live in a society that seems to favor logic & materialism, and makes spiritual disconnection the norm.  Primal Mothering (Hygiea Halfmoon), Unassisted Childbirth (Laura Shanley), Mothering as a Spiritual Journey (Ann Tremaine Linhorst), and any of the works by Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run With the Wolves, and especially “Warming the Stone Child” and her dream interpretation cd’s) really helped me tap in to that deep reservoir of inner knowing. So does Rudolph Steiner’s ruckschau meditation.  Before going to sleep, go through your day mentally in reverse, recalling- without judgement, just objective observation- what happened, who you met, how you handled problems, etc; it is a sort of tucking your emotions and thoughts to sleep, preparing yourself for the spiritual restoration and revitalization that occur each night in the arms of the angels.  It is amazing what a different perspective one comes away with when going back and looking at what happened objectively, instead of experiencing it through the lense of the heat of the moment’s emotion. A wonderful exercise in clarity!

The Waldorf Connection has also been a big help to me.  Donna Ashton offers excellent support through her webinar/teleseminars (the next one is called ‘Discipline: How to STOP saying NO’; visit her website to register for this free call!)  and multi-week programs.  She will be starting her next course, Nourishing The Early Years on February 8th (but there is an early bird special if you sign up by midnight tonight!).  My favorite thing about Donna’s programs is they are designed to help you truly enjoy your time as a parent.  Not just survive… but thrive… flourish.  It doesn’t get better than that!  And The Parenting Passageway is always a wellspring of ideas and inspiration. 

Over the next few weeks I will explore those three words- connection, direction, and protection.   I want to recount the things I’ve learned in the years when my children were so small and I was so overwhelmed with trying to learn about child development and heal and grow from my own “issues” so I could be what they needed; to record the gems, the tools, the things that bring our family joy- so on the days when things are out of sync I can stop a negative cycle and turn it into a positive one. If you could summarize your parenting journey or philosophy in a few words, what would they be- and what resources helped you find your mothering groove?

Snowflake Snacks

We are enjoying our snowflake block so much that we are only halfway done with all the fun activities I have planned (and we are waiting for a little more snow for some others!).  Here are a few things we have done so far…

Snowflake Snacks was a spur of the moment idea that proved to be fun, tasty, and that kind of messy sensory experience little ones love.  We talked about how snowflakes form from tiny particles in the air.  To represent the particles, we used raisins and goji berries.  Next, the particles gather moisture and freeze, getting bigger and bigger as they fall through the clouds.  I provided several containers of dippable foods, and we dipped our “particle” in either raw honey or peanut butter… then cocoa powder, shelled hemp seeds, rolled oats, chopped almonds, or cinnamon.  Lastly we dipped them in either melted coconut oil or butter and gave them a final coating of coconut flakes so they looked snow-like.  Then we froze them for twenty minutes and tried them out- delicious! 

I’ll admit, it was mostly me and my first-grader who made snowflakes.  The younger ones just dipped and ate their raisins and goji berries.

Here are the finished snowflakes…

 

We made one giant 6-edged snowflake with the leftover ingredients- just mixed them all up and shaped the mixture on a plate, then sprinkled with the coconut flakes and let harden in the freezer for a half hour.  It came out suprisingly yummy for being a random concoction!  But with such wholesome ingredients, how can you go wrong?

I also made “design-your-own-snowflake magnets” and oh my goodness… the result was three kids occupied for FIVE WHOLE HOURS!  I can’t promise you’ll get the same result (I am still a little shocked about it!), but my 2 year old (who does not mouth things- use your best judgement mamas, these are probably choking material for mouthers) manned the washing machine, my four year old occupied the dishwasher front, and my six year old hogged the fridge.  WOW.  I got a lot of housework done!

I used 3/4″ circle magnets from the craft store, 3/4″ white circle stickers (Avery labels from the office supply section), scrapbooking glue dots,  and dragon’s tears.  

First, place a white label sticker on one side of your magnet like so:

Then, hold your dragon’s tear over the glue spot, centering it.  Hold it down and press until the glue spot adheres when you pull it back up.

Now center it over one of the labeled magnets and press down firmly.  All done! After I made these, I was reminded of Fairy Dust Teaching’s fun sight-word jewels, and I re-read her tutorial and thought Modge Podge would be an alternative to glue dots (especially if you already have Modge Podge).  Either way I think it would work. 

My first grader made snowflakes for a while, and we talked about hexagons and the number six.  He began to talk about groups of 3′s and 6′s, it was fun to watch him realize the multiplication table on his own (this is something we haven’t covered yet in homeschool). Then he joined the younger ones in making whatever they could imagine up… a battle, the Empire State Building…

I’ll post soon about our watercolor snowflakes, snowfake origami, snowflake bunting, and more.

Ah, and I do have a few Candlemas Kits  left from last month’s co-op order.  Each kit includes 2 pounds of lovely honey-scented beeswax pastilles (they look like lentils- and are easy to melt, much easier than grating a chunk of beeswax!); 12 wick assemblies for making tea lights or walnut/seashell candles (the walnut shell candles float!); plus your choice of 3 yards of either taper or votive wick- plus priority mail shipping is included in the package price.  Anyone is welcome to purchase them (2 left)- Candlemas is on Thursday, February 2nd.

This month is also our annual Heirloom Seed order month- yay! I love Baker Creek heirloom seeds, and am so excited to offer them at a discount through the co-op.  ANYONE is welcome to order seeds with us- I think cultivating heirloom plants is such an important work for our time, protecting our food supply for ourselves and future generations.  You can see our selection here.  I know it may seem early but by the time they arrive in February, you’ll be ready to start your tomatoes, peppers, and other long-season varieties indoors.  Use the code JANSALE to save $5 on shipping on seed orders over $15 (co-op shipping is flat rate, and I know seeds will cost less to mail than the medium flat rate priority mail shipper… since they are so small & light-weight… this code will prevent you from being charged more for shipping than you need to be).

And- HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY to Cedar Ring Circle Waldorf Co-op!  I wanted to do something special to commemorate, so for this weekend only I am offering a payment plan.  I know everyone is watching their pennies and if the $25 first year membership (renewal for future years is just $10) has been a barrier to joining, you can pay in 5 installments of just $5.  This option is more work for me to manage so… I am only leaving it up through Monday evening when orders are due… I will take the first five people who join… and it’s a great time to join, since we are also ordering from Grimm’s, Engel woolens, Evi Dolls, Louet (LOVE their rovings!) and more (we always order from Mercurius, our books, and Peace Fleece Yarns)… members get a private discount on quite a few of our brands- email me for details, or join and your welcome letter will explain all.

I’ll leave you with a chalkboard drawing- we did Rumpelstiltskin (the letter “R”) last week, and we’ll do Mother Holle and her snowy blanket next to go with our snowflake theme.  He looked so cute hopping around his little fire, I left the picture up all week.  Sometimes it’s hard to erase the chalkboard drawings; I want to save mine here so I have them for inspiration next time I do Grade One.

Today I brew, tomorrow I bake;

And then the Prince child I will take;

For no one knows my little game

That Rumpelstiltskin is my name!

Monday Morning Muffins (and Math)

Monday is muffin day in our house, and it is probably my children’s favorite breakfast.  Each child gets a mixing bowl and makes their own batch.  This is great- we end up with three batches to last us for the week or longer (and they do freeze pretty well, too).   I have three regular size muffin trays, but sometimes we use a mini muffin tray for snack muffins.

 

Here is our family muffin recipe… makes a dozen.

Becca’s Whole Grain Muffins

2 1/4 cups whole spelt (or wheat) flour

1/2 tsp celtic sea salt or other unrefined salt

1 Tbsp aluminum free baking powder

1/4 cup melted coconut oil or sunflower oil

2 free-range eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup water

1/3 cup honey or maple syrup (I think maple syrup is healthier for baking, but it produces a rather crumbly muffin)

This is the basic “plain” version- good for picky eaters.  Sometimes we make one plain batch, and a few flavored ones.  Add the grated rind of a lemon plus 4 tsp. poppyseeds Lemon Poppyseed Muffins- our winter favorite (or equally delicious, substitute the poppyseeds for 1 cup of dried sweetened cranberries for Lemon Cranberry Muffins); 1 cup grated zucchini plus 1 cup blueberries for Blueberry Muffins (your kids won’t even know they are eating the zucchini!), our summer favorite (and if you use frozen blueberries, take a tablespoon or two out of the water, because the thawed berries will make the batter even more liquidy and they will be undercooked inside); 1 – 2 tsp of cinnamon and 2 apples, peeled, cored, and chopped for Apple Cinnamon Muffins, our autumn favorite (also lovely with some cinnamon, butter and brown sugar on top!); or 1 cup raisins, 1 tsp. cinnamon, and 1 cup grated carrots for Carrot Raisin Muffins, our spring favorite.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Combine the dry ingredients, then whisk til thoroughly combined. Add the wet ingredients one by one.  Mix til batter is thoroughly moistened, but don’t mix too much.  I think they come out fluffier with less mixing, and letting them stand 10-15 minutes (now’s a good time to grease your tins!) makes them a bit airier, too. Fill cups 3/4 of the way with batter and cook 15-20 minutes (they only take 15 in my oven… you’ll know they are done when they begin to turn golden brown). While the muffins cook, I get our weekly batch of brown rice going… Monday’s grain of the day is rice!

Our favorite part is the muffin song… no, not the muffin man one, but the Three Little Puffins one!

Three little puffins were partial to muffins,

As partial as partial can be.

They wouldn’t eat nuffin but hot buttered muffin

For breakfast and dinner and tea.

Pantin’ and puffin’ and chewin’ and chuffin’

They just went on stuffin’, dear me!

Til the three little puffins were chock full of muffins

As puffy as puffy can be,

All three were puffy as puffy can be.

Yep, that pretty much describe us on muffin morning! Click on the picture below to watch us sing it… we messed up the first lines and just laughed and carried on, but at least it gives you the melody. The lyrics above are correct, from The Singing Day (now out of print, last I heard, although perhaps you can snag a used copy somewhere?); words by Eleanor Farjeon and music by Marlys Swinger.

Click to hear the Three Little Puffins song

Baking also presents wonderful opportunities for math lessons.  I love the way Waldorf creates interesting stories and props to introduce math; but as a home educator, I feel I have a true advantage over a Waldorf classroom setting in that we can use our daily home happenings as our framework for learning, whenever and wherever they occur.  If we have twelve muffins in a tray, and four people, how can we divide the muffins evenly so each person has the same amount?  My first grader distributes them and we see that four groups of people with three muffins each equally distributes the twelve muffins.  In doling out ingredients to make the batter, we talk about cups, teaspoons, and their fractional parts.  If each person needs half a teaspoon of salt, how many teaspoons of salt do we need?  Over on a Ringing Cedars board, forum members were thinking of a “label” to distinguish their ideal form of education.  They came up with Natural Life Learning, and I really love that.  Sometimes it is refreshing to view our learning time as something as simple as that… devoid of all the second-guessing we may plague ourselves with when we are trying to conform to an established method someone else has created.  Sometimes, we need to go back to that place within where the wind echoes a familiar voice- our own still small one- that knowing one, which God has granted a peculiar ability to ascertain what it is our family needs most. 

The North Wind Doth Blow!

We had a blast (haha ) celebrating the North Wind this week.  During circle time, I told the Chippewa legend of Shingebiss, from the Wynstones Press “Winter” book.  You can also find the story on the web (MainLesson.com has it here).  I thought the Winter version was wonderful, and my children have been chanting “North Wind, North Wind, fierce in feature you are still my fellow creature” all week!  They also loved trying to pull up reeds from the neighbors’ frozen pond (after much running and sliding about on it!), just like Shingebiss did as he sought to catch fish for dinner beneath the ice of his pond. 

We sang “The North Wind Doth Blow”, a traditional nursery rhyme song. I learned the song from The Singing Year, a wonderful book and CD set which has about 100 songs to sing throughout the year to commemorate the seasons and holidays.  I scoured the web for a good version, but all of them seemed too fast or just not quite the same as the way we sing it- so here is the tune sung by me (and set to my lovely artwork- haha!). There are many different verses, and of course you can make up more of your own! We love acting out the verses, so we hide our heads under an arm as the robin does with his wing, fly around the room like the swallow, curl up in a ball like the dormouse…

The North Wind doth blow, and we shall have snow

And what will the robin do then, poor thing?

He’ll sit in the barn, and keep himself warm

And hide his head under his wing, poor thing.

 

The North Wind doth blow, and we shall have snow

And what will the swallow do then, poor thing?

Oh did you not know, he’s gone long ago

To a country much warmer than ours.

 

The North Wind doth blow, and we shall have snow

And what will the dormouse do then, poor thing?

Curled up in a ball, in her nest snug and small

She’ll sleep til the winter has passed, poor thing.

 

The North Wind doth blow, and we shall have snow

And what will the squirrel do then, poor thing?

He’ll climb up a tree, and look out to see

And nibble on all of his food, poor thing.

 

The North Wind doth blow, and we shall have snow

And what will the rabbit do then, poor thing?

She’ll hop and she’ll jump, she won’t want to stop

For that’s how she keeps herself warm, poor thing.

 Another great story choice would be Aesop’s fable The North Wind and the Sun. 

On Monday, we do wet-on-wet watercoloring.  I am no great artist, but here is my representation of the North Wind, which we set on the seasonal table for the week.

For modelling day (Tuesday) I tried making homemade playdough again this week, and unlike previous no-cook recipes that I wasn’t really crazy about, I loved this one which involves cooking over low heat.  There is also a gluten free recipe using rice flour and cornstarch, which I’d like to try another time (I found it at http://www.NatureMoms.com). Using food coloring and essential oils, our lovely aromatherapy playdough smelled like  pine (green), lavendar (purple), lemon (yellow), sweet orange (orange), and peppermint (red/pink).  I used about 15-20 drops of oils per color. Playdough really does come in handy during cold winter weather when we are inside more often than we’d like to be!

I left some plain, and we used it to create North Wind Faces, using circular cake and pie pans to hold our forms and then bake them hard to paint with non-toxic acrylic paints.  Mama Monica and her boys joined us for this.  Here are some of our faces, before and after painting. Next time I think I’d bake them with a thin wire inserted to be able to hang them on the wall. Also, please note this playdough will sort of melt and form weird masses if you do not place it in a form and fill the form (so use all of the cake or pie pan, and the weird melty part will stay underneath the face). Or you could use modeling clay!

 

We also made these incredibly fun and easy masks using old milk jugs.  I got the idea from a library book about masks, and adapted it to resemble my idea of the North Wind.  A total kid-pleaser!

To make the mask, peel off any labels.  One of mine peeled off easily, another took some persuasion in the form of an abrasive scrubber and a rub with sunflower oil to remove the leftover glue residue. 

Flip your jug upside down and cut off the top and the side opposite the handle.

 

Now cut uniform slits all around where the face will be, for hair.

Cut enough of a slit on each side of the spout to enable you to fold it upwards, and cut wavy slits underneath the spout for a beard.

Hold your mask up to your child’s face and trace where the eyes should go.  I used dry erase marker so I could just wipe any traces of it away after cutting. It is easier to cut the eyeholes out from the back side.

Then, I punched two holes near each side of the head and inserted some sewing elastic, securing by knotting it.  String will do in a pinch!

We also used the masks to make glowing, icy North Wind luminaries outside. I submerged a mask in water in a dishpan, weighed it down (it floated) with another dishpan, and set it outside to freeze.  Then, I set the basin in warm water to melt it a wee bit so I could pop it out easily, and ran some hot water over the eyeholes to melt the ice over them, and propped the face up in the snow with a candle in a mason jar behind it to cast a glow (used a bit of playdough in the bottom of the jar to hold the candle in place). 

I think it would be neat to do it in a circular container for a rounder face- maybe my canning pot?- but being no Martha Stewart, I was happy with the results of our first attempt.

We read Willa And The Wind this week, and I highly recommend it!  Such a fun book, and if you can’t find it in the library it is definitely worth buying.

We also talked a bit about wind currents and looked at pictures of the jet stream.  The winds’ paths over the earth are a good form to use for form drawing and helped satisfy our state’s geography requirements as we watched the way the wind flows around the globe.

My goal in this block was to give my children a strong inner sense of the wind as an element, and I think the activities we did really helped.  Although the cold blasts of icy wind in winter can seem unforgiving and harsh, the story of Shingebiss inspires courage in the face of the onslaught and the story of Willa encourages a sense of justice within it all- “I am an honorable wind”.  I also liked the idea of the North Wind and the air currents having purpose and not simply blowing chaoticly about- a trait I hope my sanguine child will emulate.   Being sanguine myself, I am holding this image and meditating on it a lot as the sanguine temperament correlates with the air element.

(This post is part of the Seasonal Celebration Sunday linky party on the Natural Mothering Network. Check it out for more fun ideas to celebrate the seasons naturally!)

Winter Walks with Children

This time of year in dreary, damp weather it can be easy to fall out of the daily walk rhythm. It’s been a mild winter in the northeast, and we haven’t seen a lot of snow (although I hear that is about to change!)- but plenty of rain and gray skies.  It may not always look inviting outside, but I often find we have some of our best adventures on these days.  Children are fascinated with water in its various forms- puddles (especially ice-crusted ones!), measuring the depth in creeks and streams, making tracks in mud or snow or using it as a canvas to draw with sticks, hopping across roadside ditches when they have small streams flowing through them… and though it always seems to feel like such an effort to get small children all geared up to get outside, once we are out I am always soooo happy we did. Once they are outside, they are not squabbling, or looking for someone (me!) or something (toys!) to entertain them. They are engaged in observing, moving, testing. The great wide world is so much bigger than us, with those enormous, heavy blankets of clouds closely guarding the earth, and the mist of rain or slight sting of cold on our warm faces makes us feel alive!

A favorite outdoors activity lately has been stomping on ice.  The edges of the creek have been icy, and they love to stomp, stomp, stomp and break pieces of ice, then send them floating down the stream, watching them transform from sharp-edged, white pieces into soft and translucent ones, melting away.

 

It’s nice to have some meaningful work for them to do sometimes, and since we are hoping to make our own tree blocks soon, we have been bringing our hacksaw and the boys have fun taking turns playing lumberjack (with very close supervision, of course!).  This nice piece of maple fell in the wind recently, and now it is drying near the woodstove. 

Counting the rings…

 

Even on days where there is no ice, it’s still fun to wade and splash in rubber boots!

 

The gray sky seems to accentuate the rich colors of earth’s palette, creating a stark backdrop to behold nature’s treasures.

And the wet landscape magnifies the intensity of every color. Each tree trunk seems a richer brown…

The moss, almost fluorescent.

The carpet of leaves on the ground are shiny and vivid.

Above me, diamonds glitter everywhere…

From the naked tree branches, to the airy hemlock boughs.

 

This place always feels enchanted to us.  Mama Monica says that every forest has its own feel to it.  Here, I always feel so young, probably because I am filled with such wonder, and wonder is the essence of childhood, isn’t it? I always expect to see a stag running past us, a huntsman from one of Grimm’s tales, or a unicorn pausing to drink from the clear waters.

In the midst of the otherwise barren trees, a stand of golden covered branches seems an oasis, a dream.

The children find the remains of an ancient tree house.

Our kitten, who follows us everywhere, is thinking this really looks like fun.

The sun is descending.  It’s time to return home.

No one wants to leave this place, but the lure of a warm, toasty house- with a fire burning in the woodstove, light streaming from the windows like a beacon in the darkening landscape, and snack time, persuade us.

Now, as I type I am listening to the storm winds blowing and the delicate sound of snow crystals beating on the windows and roof.  When the winds calm I know there will be snowsuits and hot chocolate, fairy igloos to build, snow forts to protect from barrages of snowballs… and that huge hill out back is a sledder’s paradise! In the meantime there are stories to tell, cookies to bake, and winter crafts to enjoy (I think I cleaned my library system out on winter activity books- I have 42 books out on loan and 25 more in transit, on hold!).  I’ll be back soon to share some activities we did in our North Wind and Snowflakes blocks.  Stay warm!